lovelyverse ☆

We all have bad days but I called off for the first time at my new(ish) job. I'm almost at 4 months but I was very nervous sending that "I'm not coming in.", text. I'm looking for better and newer things for myself still.  I'm not where I want to be yet but I'm trying my best.  Even when it's difficult to preform my best and I wanna fall apart, I try.  It's exhausting though.

I'm really trying lately to be more positive even though I always considered myself an optimist, I tend to get annoyed, and negative quickly. Lately though that's not the case, but I know I have a long way to go before I reach my goals. For awhile I've felt that I'm at an odd place in my life career wise. Then I wonder once I reach my goals what's next? When I have everything I want, what's after that? I know I'm getting ahead of myself, but I'm so confident, secure, and I trust myself and my abilities that I can't help but think.  What am I rushing for? Yes I want my goals but am I rushing? Sometimes I think so, other times I think I'm moving too slow. Once I get everything I want and I'm happier, I'm not sure what's after that.    INS                    |            OUTS                       - for sep2025       ...

 I guess trying your best does include pushing yourself a bit... I want to be kinder to myself while having self discipline. It's weird, I'm trying to get a balance of both, but it's difficult.